Just Communicate, dammit! Part 1



I consider myself quite proficient at communicating, particularly during an argument.

This might not seem like the most appropriate thing to be proud of, but let me explain.

I was having a chat with my co-hosts about women in relationships and how, for the most part, they just don’t know how to have a healthy argument.  They don’t speak their minds, for a start.   

How many guys reading this have asked their girl what’s wrong and got a restrained ‘Nothing!’ as a reply, only to have her read you the riot act hours later?

Here’s the thing, ladies.

Men aren’t mind readers.

He might have seriously pissed you off, for whatever reason.  Maybe you had a bad day at work.  Maybe your hormones are doing ekitaguriro and your whole system just feels off.  Maybe that last episode of Being Mary Jane got you riled up because you hate the way David keeps wrecking her head.  

Then your man goes and says or does something so stupid you literally feel your blood boil.  If you don’t tell him, HE WON’T KNOW.  If he asks you what’s wrong, and you try to act like everything is ok, he’s just going to roll over and go to sleep, or go back to flicking channels and staring blankly at the TV.  

(Incidentally, what IS it with men and the bloody remote?  All that channel-flicking drives me insane.  But I digress).  

So he has gone back to scratching his balls or whatever it is he was doing when he stopped to ask you what’s up, and you sit there fuming that he hasn’t worked out why you’re pissed off.  And instead of telling him what’s wrong and sorting it out once and for all, you sulk, and refuse to give up the cookie later on that night.  And what have you solved?   

Nothing.   

All you have gained is an extra ulcer, and possibly a penis-shaped indentation in the small of your back.

Personally, I prefer to say exactly what is bugging me, when it is bugging me.  It doesn’t always end well, but at least I don’t end up with stomach ulcers because I’ve been stewing over the issue and trying to act like everything is hunky-dory.  And once I’ve told you, that’s it.  No need to drag it up again.  

Just communicate, dammit.  It’s easier in the long run.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

RIP Rosemary

I never met Rosemary Nankabirwa. But I feel so sad at her passing. I feel sad that she succumbed to a disease we are still trying to beat. I feel sad that whoever took the time to announce her death on Twitter couldn't take the time to spell check. I'll put it down to grief. I feel sad that people tried to gain cheap popularity off of her illness. I hope she knew how many people turned out, in their own small way, to help. I hope she knew she was respected and admired. I hope God hears our prayers for her and for her family. I hope. When you lose someone, the world falls out from under your feet. I hope her family is given the time and space they need to grieve and remember her, away from the media, away from those who want to use this to their own advantage. I hope we all learn more about this terrible disease. I hope our government does more to make treatment available for all, regardless of social status. I hope. Rest, Rosemary. You fought your fight.
Read more

Untitled (or, my experience in a toxic work environment.)

I’ve been feeling guilty for the longest time that I haven’t posted on my blog for AGES: I even started questioning whether I could legitimately call it a blog anymore, considering how long it had been since I was inspired to write anything worth sharing. But I woke up yesterday and came across an article detailing a toxic work environment and when I tell you I was TRIGGERED. I know that word is used so often these days, but some of the instances described in that article catapulted me back to a situation I found myself in, that I haven’t felt able to speak about publicly. Until now. I consider myself extremely blessed to have worked in different positions where I was able to pursue my passions and dedicate my talents, all the while working with incredible people and learning from the best in the business. I was transferred from a job I loved, and thought I was performing well at (if my performance reviews were anything to go by, anyway). I didn’t understand why I was being mov
Read more

Stay Out of My Womb, Stay Out of My Business.

Something happened on air this morning that totally threw me off. We were discussing whether or not a parent should compensate a babysitter, or even a friend, if their child breaks something of theirs.  Like a phone, or laptop.  My stance is, if my child broke something belonging to someone I had asked to look after them, I would feel compelled to refund them or at least contribute towards the cost of getting a replacement. Big mistake, so it would seem. A female listener called the show.  Sternly, she asked me if I have any children, to which of course I answered in the negative.  She went on to say that the only reason I had that opinion is the fact that I do not have a child, as no mother would ask another mother to pay for something broken by a child.  (Please note, she ignored the fact that I said I would feel compelled to refund if my child had broken something belonging to someone else.  I didn’t say that I would demand money from someone if their child broke so
Read more