Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Buying Gifts For Guys- An Exercise in Discombobulation

I’m one of those girls who has a lot of men in her life.

Let me clarify.

I work in a male-dominated environment, and most of my friends are dudes.  It’s just one of those things.  Judging by this fact, it should follow that I know a lot about men and how they think.  So buying a gift for a male friend should be a cinch, right?


One of my girls was travelling to the States recently and was going to meet up with a mutual friend of ours.  I wanted to send him something, but when it came to deciding what to get, I was stumped.  What do you get for a guy? If you’re not giving him beer or food or a romp between the sheets?

Fathers and brothers are pretty easy- a tie, a box set of his favourite series, that sort of thing.  But what do you get for a guy you aren’t dating? Without coming across as a) hinting that you want your friendship to develop into something more, b) stingy, c) unimaginative or d) all of the above?

As a rule, I believe that toiletries of any sort are a no-no.  Firstly, your idea of a nice-smelling aftershave might make him break out in hives, and it is also strictly girlfriend/wife territory.  Also, he might think you’re making a not-so-subtle comment on his hygiene, or lack thereof.

Books are too obvious. Besides, the guys I know who like reading already have copies of their favourites so it would be a wasted purchase.

Buying music is also tricky, now that most people just download tunes anyway.  Thanks a lot, internet technology. Dammit.

Clothes are a minefield.  What size? What if he hates it but feels compelled to wear it just so you don’t feel like a complete idiot?  He might put on the T-shirt/cap/combat trousers or whatever, take a picture and send it to you, just to shut you up, and then use the offending item of clothing to clean up his pet’s vomit.  Vomit that the poor animal relinquished as soon as it caught sight of him wearing it.

So there I was, with all these thoughts swirling around in my head.  Meanwhile, the clock was ticking and my friend was travelling the very next day.

What to do??!!

After getting myself into such a state I was practically hyper-ventilating, I did what any self-respecting woman would do. 

And sent nothing.

I’ll just Tweet him my best wishes and be done with it.  I don’t need that kind of stress in my life.


  1. "I don’t need that kind of stress in my life." Wow. When It comes to gifts, if I find myself clueless or uninspired, then perhaps I don't know the recipient well enough.

  2. I totally needed this...Awesome as always.