Kanyindo's Random Ramblings

So, news doing the rounds is that Golola Moses of Uganda (yes, you do have to say that in full every time) will be hitting our screens very soon as part of a reality show. Just when I’d gotten over the shock of Bad Black’s foray into the music industry, I’m hit with this. Cruel, cruel world! Turns out that Uganda’s answer to Jean-Claude Van Damme is set to star in a reality show featuring Japanese Kumite free style karate.  16 fighters will slug it out on the same day, with the last man standing taking the crown.  Please note, whether or not this is sustainable in terms of the entertainment factor is neither here nor there. Now, I’m not one to kick a man when he’s down (or up. Neither is Golola, come to think of it. But I digress), but I actually think that Golola would be better off starring in reality shows that have little or close to nothing to do with kick-boxing.  It’s not a secret that his last two bouts were marred by accusations of title-theft and embar...

It's my friend Rudende's birthday today. I met Rudy about three years ago when he came in for a voice test at the radio station where we (now) both work.  He said he was nervous and kept asking if he could go and pee, but to this day it is the best voice test I've ever heard.  We've been working together ever since. Now it goes without saying that Rudy is one of the craziest, funniest, most scarily-intelligent people I know. He also talks about farting ALOT.  But that's neither here nor there.  He's a brilliant radio presenter, a mad genius of sorts, and a great dad. Happy birthday, dude.  Here's to being older, wiser, and hopefully, less flatulent. Oh, and I came up with this on my way to work this morning... tee hee giggle giggle... ''Ode To Rudy'' (to the tune of O Christmas Tree) O  Rudende , O Rudende, Thy flatulent-self sparkles. O Rudende, O Rudende, A modern man-made marvel. You're bigger than my Christmas Tree And oft y...

So everyone is making noise about the Eritrean football team members who have disappeared from the camp at Sky Hotel in Kyambogo.  Police have been able to keep their eyes on the team for the last two weeks- it turns out these chaps have major FOMO and usually vanish into thin air whenever they travel for sporting events. But somehow they managed to get past our oh-so-vigilant Police force. How on earth did they do it??!! Their vanishing acts are legendary among CECAFA officials. After the 2009 CECAFA Challenge Cup, the whole team pulled off a Houdini stunt- only the coach and another official arrived back in Eritrea after the tournament. I'm sorry but this is the funniest shit I've heard in a long time.  I mean, how do 16 grown-ass men just vanish? It's not like the Rapture happened or anything.  Unless only those guys are going to the great big football pitch in the sky and the rest of us are doomed to wallow in mud for the rest of eternity. The team's managemen...

I recently read an article profiling African brand ambassadors and was dismayed to find there were no Ugandans on the list! There were Nigerians, Kenyans, South Africans, all endorsing a variety of products from drinks to cosmetics to cars.  And where were my fellow Ugandans?  Nowhere to be seen. Now, I know what you're thinking.  You're probably wondering which Ugandan personalities could possibly endorse worldwide brands?  But I don't think that's a fair way of looking at it.  I prefer to look at the lack of products suited to Ugandan brand ambassadors.  So I decided to come up with some suggestions of my own, in the hope that some corporate giants will take them on and help us outline UG a bit more clearly on the world map. Presenting:  Siima's Top 5 Ugandan Personalities Who Should Be Brand Ambassadors and The Products They Should Endorse. 5) Bad Black a.k.a Shanita Namuyimbwa - she made headlines when some white dude gave her lots of m...

So I came across this problem letter in the New Vision, from a guy whose girlfriend is pressuring him into marriage.  Something about her biological clock ticking (she's two years older than him) and preferring her eggs fertilized in the morning, not old and wrinkled by the time she's 30.  The poor guy is traumatized because much as he loves his chick, he'd much rather finish school first (he's in his final year) and probably sow an oat or two before settling down. I think this chick is being very unfair.  Didn't she know what she was getting into when she started dating a younger guy?  Expecting him to put his life on hold just because she's reached a certain point in her life simply isn't fair.  I've taken it upon myself to warn the fellas, at the risk of betraying my fellow women, and give you some inside information to prevent you falling into the same trap as this hapless dude.  Presenting: Siima's Top 5 Signs She's About To Pressure You I...

I do a breakfast show on radio.  Much as I love my job and have been at it for a few years now, sounding chirpy at 6am never gets any easier. To cheer myself up and get my mojo levels up to where I needed them to deliver a kick-ass show, I started Tweeting my crazy entrances into studio.  People seemed to like them and they've become a bit of a morning tradition- I keep challenging myself to come up with an even crazier one each morning. One of my followers on Twitter recently asked me to compile a list of my personal favourites from the past couple of months.  Who was I to say no? Maybe one day, I'll actually get my crazy co-hosts to film the damn things.  Until then, here we go. Siima's Craziest Studio Entrances.  Enjoy :) *grabs wand, dons fairy wings and flits prettily into studio*  *dons red leather cat suit and does the Oops I Did It Again dance into studio*  *bungee jumps into studio and executes perfect landing in swivel chair* ...

I wrote this a couple of years ago, came across it today and felt so nostalgic for South Africa that I decided to post it. 2.30am was an earlier start than usual, but something told me it would all be worth it. And as Monica, Caesar, Joseph and I set off from The New Vision for Entebbe Airport , the butterflies in my stomach defied the fatigue I was feeling. 5.15am: check-in time.  After making sure that the boys had their passports (Monica and I, being women, were obviously the organized outfit on this trip), and me having to lend Caesar a pen (sigh), we all checked in with no problems.  Having done The Morning After Show the previous day and not having slept the whole of Saturday, I fought sleep as we waited for our boarding call.  (Sleep won) Before I knew it, we were on the plane and in the air.  Monica, Joseph and Caesar were across the aisle from me.  I was sat next to two rather good looking young men, but the charm soon wore off when the...