I was one of the MCs at the Bride and Groom Expo last weekend. It was a huge success- thousands of people turned up, the stalls were fabulous (there was a stall serving cocktails. The less said about that the better) and the performances were memorable. I got to work with my co-host Rudende who was as stupid as ever, but it was a fun weekend.
It did, however, leave me questioning myself.
Am I the only woman who isn’t whipped into a frenzy at the mention of weddings?
I saw women literally delirious with excitement at the fashion shows, watching the models float down the catwalk in incredible wedding gowns, probably imagining themselves or their daughters in those dresses. I stood emotionless backstage, announcing each collection and only wondering how on earth I would survive swanning around all day in one of those dresses. Don’t get me started on the towering heels the models wore. Just looking at them made my feet hurt.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind weddings. And sure, it would be nice to wear a flowing gown and feel like a princess for a day.
It’s just that there seems to be this obsession in Uganda with the party and not the reason behind it. I watched hapless men being dragged from stall to stall by their feverish women, probably guilt-tripped into going for the Expo because they’ve been watching the World Cup for the past two weeks. I saw mothers abandon their children, all in the name of getting a front seat at the next fashion show, which wasn’t due to start for another hour.
Instead of thinking- wow!! I MUST get married and have a MASSIVE wedding!! All I could think was- there are some service providers I think should consider having a stall at the next expo.
How about a legal stall? Find out about pre-nups and all that jazz. Or find out if your marriage is actually legal! How about a stall where women can leave their boyfriends to be entertained while they roam the expo and oohh and ahh at wedding gowns and cakes?
How about a stall with sex toys? I mean, there is a senga session, telling you how to keep things spicy in the bedroom. Why not some toys to go along with it?
Or maybe a stall where women play at being mothers before it actually happens. Give them some dolls to look after, rather than leaving actual children in their care. I can’t tell you how disgusted I was with the woman who abandoned her son and ignored our frantic announcements, all because she was reserving her seat next to the catwalk for the fashion show. Only when her terrified 5 year old son was brought onto the stage did she realize her child wasn’t with her.
Or maybe it’s just me. I think I have a defective girl gene, or something.