Accentuate Your Ugandaness

What is it with Ugandans and accents?

I met a girl recently who has spent some time in the States and hence acquired an American accent. When I say she spent some time there, I am ‘guesstimating’ that she spent at least 10 years there.  You would think that is plenty of time for someone to acquire the accent of wherever they are living at the time, or at least develop an affectation of sorts that is common to people in that particular country.  Indeed it is. If you are a child when you go to said country.

I say this because I truly believe that by the time you are at least 21 years old, there are certain things about you that can’t change.  Not without some degree of effort.  Your handwriting is one.  Your attitude is another. And finally, your accent.

Let me explain.

People often say that I have a ‘British accent’.  I can explain why.  I didn’t start learning English until I was about 7 years old.  Up until that point, I was quite happy to prattle on in French, my first language.  My parents were concerned that my English was rather dreadful, and decided to take me out of the French school and put me in an English one.  Much as I was happy to move to the ‘big school’ (both my older sisters were already at the school, so my protection was assured), French was not taught at this school.  As young kids are wont to do, I promptly absorbed English and forgot most of my French.  I also had to have speech and drama lessons, which I actually had up until I was 16 years old.  All my speech and drama teachers happened to be old English ladies who spoke like the Queen.  So diction and deportment have been drilled into me from a very young age.  I travelled to England for secondary school when I was 11 and left when I was an adult.  So, my accent is what it is, and was not acquired by a visit to Entebbe Airport.

Which brings me back to my first question.

What is it with Ugandans and accents?

I am baffled at people who simply refuse to be themselves.  As far as Africans go, I think Ugandans speak pretty decent English (not counting those who refer to clichés as ‘kuriches’), and have accents that are more or less comprehensible (former Mayors exempted). 

So why do we insist on trying to sound American simply because we went to the Ugandan Convention ONCE 3 years ago?  Or because our sister from Boston is visiting for the first time in years?  You can’t tell me that because you finally managed to sort out your kyeyo papers at the age of 35 and snuck into the UK, or won the green card lottery and made it to ‘Massa-shoo-shettes’ at the ripe age of 40, that you’ll come back 2 years later sounding more British than the Queen? Or more  American than apple pie?  (Incidentally, why don’t accent-fakers ever attempt the Queen’s accent?  They tend to go for accents from ‘East Raandan’ or ‘Bahminghum’.)

All I’m saying is, why not be yourself?  It is a constant battle I have with new radio presenters.  Stop trying to sound like some failed rapper’s distant African cousin.  You can’t maintain it, it’s grating on the ear, and you just sound like a twat.  Stop it.  Mother-tongue interference notwithstanding, we’re doing OK.  (The less said about UPE the better.)