Kanyindo's Random Ramblings

It’s finally here… The Weekend!!  The past week has been a nightmare, but I made it, and as 5 o’clock rolled around, I certainly had that Friday feeling coursing through my veins.  My three best girlfriends and I had agreed to check out the newest bar in town.  Nothing, not even my dominatrix boss, was going to keep me in the office beyond 5pm.  Checking that the coast was clear (my boss has a bad habit of creeping out of corners when you least expect it), I legged it out of the office as if I was being pursued by all the hounds of hell.  Jumping into my car, I turned on the radio and made my way home.  Just as I reached my front door, I got a text message.  It was from my girl Claire.  “Hi, sry can’t make it 2nite.  Time of the month, bad cramps.  Nxt wkend?  Hv a gr8 time.” Feeling a bit disappointed, but glad we’d still have quorum, I started my getting-ready-for-a-girls’-night-out routine.  Which goes as follow...

Phew!  Another Monday over.  The boss was in a foul mood for most of the morning, which managed to compound my hatred for this day of the week.  Doesn’t she realize we’d ALL have rather stayed in bed this morning?  Especially with the prospect of working under her permanent PMT-cloud.  As if none of us have periods… I had a particularly annoying client today.  Not only did he smell of onions (rotten ones), but he kept staring at my bust in an attempt to have a conversation with it.  It completely put me off the whole meeting. “So, how can you convince me that advertising with your agency will benefit my business?” he asked my left breast.  She didn’t feel like talking so I took the initiative. Restraining myself from reaching across the desk and smacking him, I calmly replied, “I think our large client base speaks for itself.  We have carried out many successful campaigns for individuals and companies alike, and we have associate...

The office has been abuzz with talk of the new marketing manager, who apparently is a very handsome guy and always a hit with the ladies.  The boss had briefed us about him and he was coming in today to get a feel of the place. Personally, I wasn’t as excited as some of the girls in the office, but I was curious to see how the boss would react.  She has a thing for fresh male fish (she’s already pounced on and made light work of two management trainees, poor things), and loves it when there’s a new guy to chase in the office.  I think she puts something in their coffee or hypnotizes them or something.  But that’s another story. So Paul (the new guy) started work.  He was very polite and everyone liked him.  He could be smooth and charming with the ladies (without being creepy about it), and jovial and manly with the men.  The boss was smitten, and with a few mean looks and bitchy comments, made it very clear to the rest of the women that he wa...

The boss recently ran a recruitment drive to fill in the gaps left by last month’s department reshuffle. As if I didn’t have enough on my plate already, the boss asked me- well, commanded me, actually- to train a rather naïve girl to be her assistant.  The weirdest thing was that the boss and the trainee in question had exactly the same name.  No one else was bothered, seeing as none of us actually calls the boss by her first name.  The boss herself, however, wasn’t amused, and demanded that the trainee use a different name during office hours. I accidentally walked into the boss’ office when she was briefing the poor girl. “Look, I realise we just happen to have the same name, but I strongly recommend that you use another name from 9am-5pm.  Just to avoid confusion, you understand.  We wouldn’t want anyone to mistake you for the MD, now would we?” The boss gave a little laugh, trying to lighten the situation.  The poor trainee swallowed hard a...

Not many people know this, but long before I was a radio presenter at Xfm, I had a stint as a writer for The New Vision.  I had my own column every Friday, and every time I saw my name in print I just couldn’t believe that people were willing to publish my nonsense, let alone read it.  I have to thank the legendary Ernest Bazanye for opening that door for me.  My articles were a series, if you like, featuring a typical girl in the corporate world, dealing with a difficult boss, crazy friends and of course, dating issues.  All fictional, please note.  One of my favourite characters was her crazy boss, whom she strongly suspected of having dealings with The Dark Side. I came across some of these articles, which were written long before I even considered having a blog of my own.  So, I decided to post them here.  I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them. *My previous posts Of Flying Food and Dating Disasters and The Ri...

So another picture of a young lady having a very unfortunate wardrobe malfunction has been doing the rounds on social media. In case you haven’t seen it, you will be fine.  But put it this way, she had decided to go commando and a gust of wind and a slight bend at the knees decided to bog in her plot. Now, I’m not judging anyone who has had a ‘nip-slip’ or an incident similar to the one I described above (let’s call it a fanny faux pas, shall we?).  There are just a few things that cross my mind whenever we are assailed with pictures of people ‘accidentally’ flashing their bits. 1.        Going Commando- I see absolutely nothing wrong with this.  If you feel the need to go knickerless and natural, by all means! Let it breathe! However, SIT/STAND PROPERLY!!  As in, unless your intention is to flash the world, keep your legs closed and wear something long enough to keep your bits tucked away from the naked eye. 2.  ...

I’ve been told that I give people the wrong impression, particularly on Twitter. Let me explain. You know how it is that you can just be minding your own business, trawling the TL, and someone tags you in a post deemed flirtatious or forward? Or you post something totally innocuous but it is taken off in a completely unexpected direction?  Or people just. Don’t. GET IT?! I know it’s happened to you, too. How much of what you tweet do you think determines the way people communicate with you?  How much control do you think you have, short of blocking or muting people, over the tweets you receive? I’m not talking about people who post explicit pictures of themselves, or the so-called ‘thirsty tweets’ that often take over the TL.  I think if you post that kind of content, you’re bound to attract a certain type of feedback, and shouldn’t be surprised if you do. As someone who, in my own humble opinion, tweets a fair amount of nonsense, as well as pictures ...