Of Nip Slips and Fanny Faux Pas

So another picture of a young lady having a very unfortunate wardrobe malfunction has been doing the rounds on social media.

In case you haven’t seen it, you will be fine.  But put it this way, she had decided to go commando and a gust of wind and a slight bend at the knees decided to bog in her plot.

Now, I’m not judging anyone who has had a ‘nip-slip’ or an incident similar to the one I described above (let’s call it a fanny faux pas, shall we?).  There are just a few things that cross my mind whenever we are assailed with pictures of people ‘accidentally’ flashing their bits.

1.       Going Commando- I see absolutely nothing wrong with this.  If you feel the need to go knickerless and natural, by all means! Let it breathe! However, SIT/STAND PROPERLY!!  As in, unless your intention is to flash the world, keep your legs closed and wear something long enough to keep your bits tucked away from the naked eye.

2.       Feeling Airy- Is it just me or do people who experience this type of wardrobe malfunction somehow lose all sense of feeling?  Trust me, if I was out on a red carpet somewhere and a nipple popped out, I would know!  As in, THE BREEZE for a start!  There was this one time some of my hair tickled my neck and I flailed around my living room like a mad woman, screaming and slapping at myself, convinced I had a monster spider on my bare skin. (It’s ok to laugh at the imagery.  I felt very stupid afterwards, but my embarrassment was soothed by the realization that I did not, in fact, have a monster spider on my bare skin). So suddenly feeling a breeze where there just shouldn’t be one would set my alarm bells off for sure.

3.       Not At All Hairy- We’ve all seen pictures of celebrities and lesser-known mortals with something hanging out that should have been tucked away- remember THAT Lenny Kravitz picture? And his, erm, genital adornment? (Come on, I know I’m not the only person who Googled it!!)  But what I don’t get is how, miraculously, when their bits of genitalia decide to play peek-a-boo and photobomb their red carpet moment, they are always perfectly groomed!  Unless you’re telling me that some people are permanently photo-ready.   Some of us just don’t have that time.

4.       They’re just privates, after all- EXACTLY.  In the same way you can tell whether or not something fits you, surely you can tell that, you know what, perhaps this strapless dress won’t be held up by my boobs.  Or maybe, just maybe, getting out of the car in this tiny skirt will be difficult, especially since I’m not wearing any panties and I’m not exactly a contortionist.  Or maybe my parents will see a picture of me with my bits out.  And it’s almost Christmas which means family gatherings and awkwardness.


But maybe I just over-think things.  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Untitled (or, my experience in a toxic work environment.)

I’ve been feeling guilty for the longest time that I haven’t posted on my blog for AGES: I even started questioning whether I could legitimately call it a blog anymore, considering how long it had been since I was inspired to write anything worth sharing. But I woke up yesterday and came across an article detailing a toxic work environment and when I tell you I was TRIGGERED. I know that word is used so often these days, but some of the instances described in that article catapulted me back to a situation I found myself in, that I haven’t felt able to speak about publicly. Until now. I consider myself extremely blessed to have worked in different positions where I was able to pursue my passions and dedicate my talents, all the while working with incredible people and learning from the best in the business. I was transferred from a job I loved, and thought I was performing well at (if my performance reviews were anything to go by, anyway). I didn’t understand why I was being mov...
Read more

RIP Rosemary

I never met Rosemary Nankabirwa. But I feel so sad at her passing. I feel sad that she succumbed to a disease we are still trying to beat. I feel sad that whoever took the time to announce her death on Twitter couldn't take the time to spell check. I'll put it down to grief. I feel sad that people tried to gain cheap popularity off of her illness. I hope she knew how many people turned out, in their own small way, to help. I hope she knew she was respected and admired. I hope God hears our prayers for her and for her family. I hope. When you lose someone, the world falls out from under your feet. I hope her family is given the time and space they need to grieve and remember her, away from the media, away from those who want to use this to their own advantage. I hope we all learn more about this terrible disease. I hope our government does more to make treatment available for all, regardless of social status. I hope. Rest, Rosemary. You fought your fight.
Read more

Stay Out of My Womb, Stay Out of My Business.

Something happened on air this morning that totally threw me off. We were discussing whether or not a parent should compensate a babysitter, or even a friend, if their child breaks something of theirs.  Like a phone, or laptop.  My stance is, if my child broke something belonging to someone I had asked to look after them, I would feel compelled to refund them or at least contribute towards the cost of getting a replacement. Big mistake, so it would seem. A female listener called the show.  Sternly, she asked me if I have any children, to which of course I answered in the negative.  She went on to say that the only reason I had that opinion is the fact that I do not have a child, as no mother would ask another mother to pay for something broken by a child.  (Please note, she ignored the fact that I said I would feel compelled to refund if my child had broken something belonging to someone else.  I didn’t say that I would demand money from so...
Read more