Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Of Women and Avocados

I have come to the conclusion that women are like avocados.

Let me explain.

I was having a conversation with a male friend of mine recently. The poor guy was being frustrated in his efforts to woo a certain young lady.

After weeks of trying to get her to go out with him and meeting a solid wall of resistance, he gave up and set his sights on someone else.  Not in an attempt to make chick #1 jealous, mind.  He simply acknowledged that his energy might be better spent elsewhere. 

No sooner had his romantic endeavours begun to bear fruit with chick #2 that chick #1 suddenly realized that actually, this fellow was a bit of alright and could be worth her time.

My hapless friend was now in a state of total confusion.  Should he back away from a sure deal and into the arms of his original conquest?  Or continue on his current mission?  Like a moth to a flame, and after giving chick #1 a week to stew, he went crawling back to her and left chick #2 wondering why his enthusiasm had suddenly cooled just when she was ready to give up the goods.

Like the plot of a dreadful romantic comedy, dude steps to chick #1 and finds that the 7 day window he had given her to think on her sins was 7 days too long- chick #1 didn’t want to know.  She dismissed him as being ‘indecisive’. Talk of the pot calling the kettle black! 

In true form, the fury of chick #2 was hotter than a day in hell, so there was no joy to be found there either.  My poor friend found himself back at square one, colder and more alone than a bachelor in his muzigo on load-shedding night.

I guess you’re questioning my avocado reference.

You know how avocados have this annoying time frame between ‘I’m not ready yet, EAT ME NOW, and too late! I’m rotten!’ ? It’s so annoying.

Women, some of them at least, are much the same.  Not in the sense of getting rotten.  I mean you have to time them perfectly- one extra minute, one step in the wrong direction, and you’ve fluffed it.

And we all know there’s a fine line between a ripe avocado and a rotten one.

*Awesome cartoon by @DBarongo. Follow him on Twitter because he's just brilliant plus I asked you really nicely.

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