How about WE help the government instead?

Tusaba Gavumenti Etuyambe!! #TGE!! Let’s petition the President!!

Seriously, Ugandans.  Aren’t we tired of asking our government to help us with every little thing?
Family land wrangle?  Let me write to the president!  I have jiggers.  Let’s ask the First Lady for money! My wife won’t sleep with me.  HELEP!!

When does it stop?!

What happened to asking not what your government can do for you, but what you can do for your government?

Every government needs help from its people.  I’m not just talking about getting them in office so they can enjoy our blood sweat and taxes.  Sometimes I read about initiatives, bills being passed and sacks of money being donated and think, hang on- surely this is misguided?  I hear people complaining in the office or grumbling on social media, and I just can’t help thinking that governments are not taking advantage of their people.  Not as much as they could, anyway.

There are so many things we as a people could do to assist our gavumenti.  Here are just a few of them:

1.       Walk and talk a little bit faster- just imagine, if Ugandans as a whole walked and talked with a purpose, maybe we wouldn’t have to endure months of waiting for initiatives to actually be put into action.  Nor would we have to endure endless boring speeches.  Why?  Because our beloved politicians would be inspired to move things along that bit faster.  At least I hope they would.

2.       That little issue of personal hygiene- a prominent politician, who shall remain nameless for the purposes of this article, once said that her fellow MPs stank, had holes in their socks and were doing nothing for what little fresh air was available in parliament.  The shame!  How much more ashamed would the malodorous culprits be if their own constituents were as fragrant as fragrant can be?  What right does my MP have, smelling like the wrong end of a goat, when I have taken time to bathe and find a deodorant that fits my (already stretched) budget?

3.       And then there’s the grammar issue- Many people have criticized me for being over-zealous when it comes to the use of the English language.  I don’t care.  If you are going to use a language, the least you can do is attempt to speak it properly.  The same people who constantly call me a grammar Nazi are the first to laugh at Ssebagala’s latest mbogo or to point out another gem sprinkled with bastardizations of the Queen’s language by Golola Moses.  How about we set standards and demand that our politicians live up to them?  Since it’s clearly not going to happen the other way round.

4.       Driving like morons- we’ve all heard the complaints about government cars.  I don’t need to repeat them here.  But if you, dear citizen, are driving like a mad person with ants in their pants and a heavy foot, how can you expect our leaders not to do the same?  Yes, Bosco the Boda Guy, I’m talking to you. 

Now I’m sure there are some of you reading this thinking, but Siima, leaders are meant to set an example, how can we teach them how to behave, bla bla bla.  This article is not for you or anyone else immune to sarcasm.  You will be fine.


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