Women- The Most Complex of Creatures.

I got back to work after a few days off last week and was amused to hear that my co-hosts caused outrage on air when they described women as crazy, simply because we sometimes say ‘Nothing’ when asked what the matter is, yet there is clearly some burning issue (not the UTI kind).
Imagine the following scenario:

Girlfriend: (Sigh.. huff and puff... side eye of death thrown in boyfriend's general direction)
Boyfriend: (looking up from his copy of The Kampala Sun) What's wrong babe?
Girlfriend: (sigh) Nothing.
Boyfriend: You sure?  Nothing at all?
Girlfriend: I said nothing's wrong.
Boyfriend: Oh.  Ok. (shrugs, buries face in pictures of Sheebah Karungi's cleavage)
Fast forward two hours later, when she has finally cracked...
Girlfriend: You don't care about me!! I was upset and you didn't even try to find out why!
Boyfriend: (incredulous) But I asked you what was wrong! You insisted that everything was fine!
Girlfriend: Yes but you just gave up instantly! I couldn't properly explain what was wrong but you could have made more of an effort to find out what was wrong!
Boyfriend: (head in hands, wonders why his gorgeous girlfriend is behaving like one of Satan’s minions.  Goes to toilet under the pretext of a Number 2.  Continues to ogle pictures of girls in The Kampala Sun).

It's a common occurrence.

But it doesn't mean that women are crazy.  We are just complex creatures.  Much as I prefer telling my dude straight up when I am pissed off about something (especially if it's something he has done), I understand why my fellow women sometimes clam up and hope that by some miracle their man has become a mind reader and will figure out what’s bugging her.

So, to help you guys  out during those times you think that amazing woman you fell in love with has turned into an incoherent, impossible-to-comprehend creature with a face that looks like she’s sucking on a lemon, here are some insights into exactly what she means when you ask her what’s wrong and she says ‘Nothing’.

1.      Hormones- this is not just something we women use to our advantage.  It’s real.  One minute we’re fine, the next we’re miserable. Like I said, we are complex creatures.

2.       Someone pissed her off at work- it could be her boss, work colleagues, or even the cleaning lady.  If she explains the situation to you, ALWAYS adopt a sympathetic facial expression and look like you are paying attention. 

3.       You forgot something important- like an anniversary or the fact that she was meeting her sister for dinner that evening.  Something she told you about yesterday, which promptly went in one ear and out the other as soon as she told you.  She will either blast you for forgetting then and there, or she will keep quiet and simmer until the dam bursts.

4.       You fell asleep immediately afterwards last night- yes.  She’s pissed off.  You rolled over and started snoring like a nasally congested hippo. Not only is it rude, it’s extremely off-putting and will make her wonder why she even gave you some in the first place.

5.       There really is nothing wrong- and the more you ask her what’s wrong, the more irritated she’ll get.  Cut your losses, and get out of her space.  Because in your efforts to be the solution, you end up being the problem.


Like I said, we’re complex creatures.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.

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