Tuesday, 4 March 2014

What's Gender Got To Do With It Anyway?

A concerned aunt of mine is worried that aside from the fact that I work in a male-dominated environment, when I do hang out, most of the people around me are dudes. She thinks this is scaring away the hoards of men lining up to marry me. (Ha! I know, right? She just had to slip in the marriage thing somehow).  

Despite the fact that I already have a man (his views on the subject in another article, perhaps) is neither here nor there.  Concerned Aunt just didn’t want to know, and insisted that I IMMEDIATELY surround myself with more ‘girl friends’.

Here’s the thing- I do have girlfriends.  Granted, they are few and far between, but they are genuine.  They’ve got my back.  I know if I was ever in a tricky situation they would rally round and support me.

What a lot of people do not seem to understand or appreciate is the complex nature of female friendships, especially once you hit adulthood.  I learned a painful lesson that you can be friends with someone but they will stab you in the back at the nearest opportunity.  I may be wrong, but I can’t help thinking that women suffer such stabbings much more frequently than men.  Not to say that a male friend can’t stab a female friend in the back.  But in my experience, they have much less time for such behaviour than women do.

What is the big deal about men and women being friends anyway?  So long as we all respect our boundaries I really don’t see what the fuss is about.  And why is it that I happen to have more male friends than female ones?  Here’s a basic breakdown.

  •  I like gangster movies.  And action movies.  Throw in a car chase and a murder mystery and I’m happy.  Most of the girls I know, bless their hearts, just don’t have such DVDs to share.
  • Video games.  I’ve loved them since I was a kid and I think it’s safe to say that is one thing I will never outgrow.  Only in a group of guys do I feel comfortable discussing such things.  It beats talking about the latest chick flick, anyway.
  •  I hate shopping.  As in, HATE IT.  When I have to buy clothes, I do a quick wardrobe assessment, note what is needed, go out and get it.  I am allergic to window shopping.  Basically, I shop like my Dad.
  • I don’t watch telenovelas (yuk!) or Scandal.  That’s right I said it.  Olivia Pope is a wimp and a waste of space.
  •  If I’m having an off day and don’t feel like talking to anyone, my male friends won’t take it personally.  Oh, and they don’t suffer from PMT.  Added bonus.

The downside of having more male friends than female ones?  They sometimes forget that I’m a girl.  Discussing the attributes of Kim Kardashian’s posterior is almost as mind-numbing as explaining to my Concerned Aunt why I’m not married yet.