Coffee and Me- A love affair.
Last week I attempted, rather unsuccessfully, to wean myself
off coffee.
I do a morning show on radio 6 days a week, so coffee has
become an essential part of my life, and my show.
But as part of my new health regimen (that’s for another
article, so don’t ask) I needed to cut down the number of cups I drink to no
more than two standard-sized mugs a day in lieu of the six large-enough-to-drown-a-small-rodent
type I tend to favour. Much as cutting
down was a better option than cutting it out altogether, it was extremely
difficult because I love coffee.
I don’t think you understand.
I looooooooooooooooooooove coffee.
Black and strong.
Hot. Delicious. Just talking about it makes me want some.
It tastes good, it makes me feel good. I swear, I do a better show when I drink
coffee.
In fact, I would go so far as to say that coffee makes me a
better person.
And how do I know this?
I drastically cut my coffee intake last week, and several
unfortunate things happened on the Monday I began my coffee cold-turkey.
First of all, I yawned.
ON AIR. Mid-sentence. And it wasn’t one of those easily-masked,
ladylike ones. It was one of those
could-you-open-your-mouth-any-wider,
please-don’t-swallow-the-people-in-the-room ones. Sound effects inclusive. It was so embarrassing I had to play a song
immediately and then endure the taunts of my co-hosts for the rest of the show.
I was even clumsier than usual. I walked into a door, a cleaning-lady and her
bucket, and stepped on a small child in reception. Now, I’m known to be accident-prone at the
best of times but this was just ridiculous!
And then the mood swings.
I have two unbelievably stupid co-hosts and it is part of my job to be
the sensible one, the voice of reason when all around are losing their heads. Regardless of my co-hosts’ behaviour, I am
supposed to maintain an air of aloofness and maturity.
But there was no way I could do this without caffeine
coursing through my veins.
So of course I lost it.
I can’t remember exactly what was said to me, but I just remember seeing
red. Next thing I knew, I woke up on the
floor in studio, blood dripping from the microphones. My co-hosts haven’t been seen since.
Ok not really.
Unfortunately, the mugwumps are alive and well.
But coffee DOES make me a better person. And makes it easier to write this
article. So I don’t see myself quitting
it just yet.
I can totally relate ! I love my coffee enough to go to a high end place for dinner and just order for coffee.
ReplyDeleteRuth you've got it worse than I do!! I hear you though :)
ReplyDeleteVery funny! I love my coffee too, mostly my office coffee, and mostly my Monday coffee.
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