Wednesday, 30 November 2016

Gratitude: Of Bittersweet Anniversaries and Happy Memories

Today marks what would have been my parents' 42nd wedding anniversary.  A day that we always celebrated as a family became bittersweet years ago, as my paternal Grandmother passed away on this date, but even more so now that my Dad is no longer with us.

That said, my siblings and I would always celebrate this day, even as children, before we understood its significance.  We would spend hours poring over our parents' wedding album, and laugh at Mum's stories of how Dad refused to take his shades off when they were posing for pictures outside church (his kasiki was the night before- madness!), and then Dad's stories about the guest who opened all the beers at once so they went flat before anyone could even get a drink in (who DOES that?!).

Over the years the responsibility of throwing a party to celebrate our parents' big day fell to my siblings and I.  Whether it was a shindig with friends and family, or a simple dinner just the 6 of us, it was always an extra day to celebrate love and family.

Having parents who are relationship goals is a double-edged sword.  My siblings and I are so blessed to have grown up secure in our parents' love for us and for each other, which was always evident. I grew up with such a strong example of a man, and a strong example of the woman I wanted to be (and still do.  My mother is a Warrior Queen).

On the other hand, has it made it harder for me to find someone that I feel measures up?  Am I being impossibly hard on myself, wanting a relationship like the one my parents had?  Should I just accept, like any Daddy's girl, that my father was the last of his kind, and be content that I was his daughter? So many questions.

As I have done for the past goodness-knows how many years, the first thing I did this morning was send my mother a Happy Anniversary message.  I know every day is difficult for her- today is yet another day underlining my Dad's absence. How can someone be absent and yet so very present at the same time?  Sigh...

Happy Anniversary, Ma and Pa.  Here's to love lasting forever.


  1. Once again you have me in tears...Happy anniversary Mum and Dad!

  2. I can imagine how it feels! Happy anniversary. Praying for you. May the good Lord give mum many more year ahead. Bless you

  3. Thanks for this post Queader! Now I've got to get on and implement more thank you.

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