Writer's Block Is NOT A Myth...

I normally love Wednesdays.

Not for the same reasons as most people I know- my co-hosts, for example, are always making jokes about it being Hump Day, winking and hi-fiving each other (idiots).

No.  My reason for loving Wednesdays is simply that they fall halfway through the week. After the tension and stress of Monday, burdened with the feeling of loss that comes with the end of the weekend, I can finally feel that knot in my back relax and start looking forward to Sunday, the one day of the week when I can lie in until 6am (or later).

Problem is, I dread Wednesdays now.  Why, you may ask?  Because if I have haven’t submitted this article by then, my editor’s friendly reminders get a bit more urgent.  Don’t get me wrong, she’s lovely and extremely un-dragon-like.  Which makes me feel even worse when I haven’t thought of anything remotely interesting or witty to write about by Tuesday night.

The reminders tend to go a bit like this:

Monday

Ed: Hi Siima!  Hope you had a great weekend.  Just a reminder about this week’s article. Have a wonderful day!

Tuesday

Ed: Hi Siima! I know you’re busy, but please don’t forget to send me your article for this weekend.

Wednesday

Ed: Hi Siima!! I know you’ll be gallivanting up-country at some point this week.  Please remember to send me your article before you go! Enjoy the rest of your week!

You get the picture.  She’s so nice yet I know she’s working to a deadline and here I am, suffering from writer’s block and wondering how the likes of Bazanye and Apenyo spew genius with minimum effort.

Just to show my editor that I really don’t mean to delay, I just genuinely have NOTHING to write sometimes, I’ve decided to share my little routine when my deadline is looming and I’m sitting at my dining table, staring at my laptop and the blank Word document in front of me.

  1. Try not to panic
  2. Close eyes and think happy thoughts
  3.  Open eyes if all you see is an image of your by-line with a blank space beneath it in the paper
  4.  Walk to the fridge.  Open door and stare at contents
  5.   Close fridge.  Go back to dining table
  6.  Stare at screen
  7.  Google Image Idris Elba for inspiration
  8.  Panic when you realize you’ve spent 15 minutes Google Imaging Idris Elba
  9.  Type ‘Sunday Vision Article’ at top of page and hope words will miraculously appear.
  10.  Walk to the fridge. Open door and stare at contents. Contemplate a piece of cheese
  11.  Repeat


It’s not always this bad.  But sometimes it is impossible to come up with something.  Does that make me a fake writer?  Or does everyone else have such issues?


The good news is, I can send this off to my editor now, and go back to Google Imaging Idris Elba.  Guilt-free.

Comments

  1. Unknown14 February 2014 at 10:51

    You can always change environments or try something totally out of the ordinary e.g. Go have dinner at one of the shacks in your area afterwards sip on the local brew with the locals. Those guys always have the weirdest and most fascinating stories.
    At least that is what I was told.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Miriam Mimi Nagadya20 February 2014 at 11:16

    Lol @ contemplating a piece of chees. I would have gone for the Pinot Grigio personally

    ReplyDelete

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