Voice Tests and Ear Bleeds

For the most part, I love my job.

I get to listen to music ALL DAY, I work with a great bunch of people, and I consider myself very lucky to be doing something I’ve always wanted to do- not many people can say that at my age.

Like all jobs, however, there are some rather unpleasant aspects. 

Like voice tests.

Voice tests are those hit-and-miss recordings that can give you an idea as to whether or not someone will be a good radio presenter.  Do they have a radio-friendly voice, for a start?  Not too squeaky, not too gravelly, but pleasing to the ear?  Are they funny/witty/interesting to listen to?  Can they pronounce artists’s names properly? Of course the criteria changes depending on the type of station it is. 

Our station’s presenters are energetic, up-beat, relatively witty and know the difference between WAYNE Rooney and Bobi WINE.  I pride myself on having some of the best radio presenters in Uganda (in my unbiased opinion) on my team.  So you’ll forgive me if, when it comes to voice tests, I am very, VERY, particular.

Anyone can come through for a voice test- we don’t discriminate.  You never know, the next big radio talent could be pounding the pavements out there and how great would it be if YOU discovered them?  The problem is, such talent is rare, so for the most part, most of the voice tests that come through the production studio are only good for inducing a serious ear-bleed.

Where it gets super tricky is telling people that their voice test actually sucked. Badly.  By the time someone comes through and asks (hmmm), begs (sometimes) or DEMANDS (you’d be suprised) a voice test, they obviously think they have a good voice and would be a pretty good radio presenter, even if the opposite is glaringly obvious.

In my experience, those with the most inflated perception of themselves deliver the WORST voice tests.  Which makes telling them that they just haven’t made the grade even harder.

I’m not saying I have the best voice in the world.  Nor do I think that my talent and skills as a radio presenter are second to none.  But I think I have been around long enough, seen and heard enough to make an informed judgement.  And one thing I would say to radio presenter wannabes is… be yourself.  Please.  Don’t try to copy and paste your favourite radio ‘DJ’ of the nineties.  Shock me.  Shock yourself.  Bring the best of you to the airwaves and kill it, because trust me, as someone who has loved radio all her life, the last thing I want to hear is the washed-up vomit (badly done) of someone I used to listen to when I was 13 years old who is probably nursing a perpetual hangover and wondering where their career went. 

Be willing to listen.  LEARN.  INNOVATE.  And probably one day, we’ll be waking up at 6am to have you start our day. And don’t you dare think you’ve made it until a major brand is banging down the door insisting that you endorse their product.  Even then, just know that there is someone younger, funnier and even more clever than you who wants this more than you ever thought you could, breathing down your neck.