Kanyindo's Random Ramblings

I saw an interesting tweet the other day that got me thinking- If you could give one piece of advice to your 16 year old self, what would it be? I’d have A LOT to say to my 16 year old self.  Since I have more space here, I decided to write her a letter. Dear Siima, You probably won’t want to hear anything I have to say, because you’re going through a particularly anti-social, teenage angst-ridden phase, but if I could just bother you to take your headphones off for a minute, I’d like to share some pearls of wisdom with you. First of all.  That drama at school? No big deal.  Seriously.  You will all have moved on to the next argument in a few weeks and all will be forgotten.  Also, I’d suggest that you pay a bit more attention in your History class, because you ARE actually going to take it for GCSEs.  You are going to drop Design and Technology and take up R.E instead.  But guess what?  You’ll love it! And you’ll get an excellent...

I normally love Wednesdays. Not for the same reasons as most people I know- my co-hosts, for example, are always making jokes about it being Hump Day, winking and hi-fiving each other (idiots). No.  My reason for loving Wednesdays is simply that they fall halfway through the week. After the tension and stress of Monday, burdened with the feeling of loss that comes with the end of the weekend, I can finally feel that knot in my back relax and start looking forward to Sunday, the one day of the week when I can lie in until 6am (or later). Problem is, I dread Wednesdays now.  Why, you may ask?  Because if I have haven’t submitted this article by then, my editor’s friendly reminders get a bit more urgent.  Don’t get me wrong, she’s lovely and extremely un-dragon-like.  Which makes me feel even worse when I haven’t thought of anything remotely interesting or witty to write about by Tuesday night. The reminders tend to go a bit like this: Monday ...

Over the weekend, I watched the 80s classic Pretty Woman.  Basic plot- frustrated rich man takes a drive on Hollywood Boulevard, picks up hot streetwise prostitute and takes her back to his hotel.  She lives there for about a week, he takes her clothes-shopping so that he can introduce her to his rich friends, she fights the fact that she is falling for him, they argue because she feels he has treated her like a hooker (duh), she leaves, he realizes he is in love with her, goes to her grotty apartment in his limousine, rescues her from a life on her back and they live happily ever after. It’s a great film, don’t get me wrong.  But just how realistic is it?  In a Ugandan setting? Picture this: frustrated Ugandan business man drives to Kabalagala in the wee hours of the morning.  Spots a relatively decent-looking prostitute, picks her up and takes her to his hotel (NOT lodge, please note).  The next day, she is ready to pick her dime and flee the...

It has often been said that Uganda has some of the most beautiful women. I’m not agreeing with this sentiment simply because I happen to be a Ugandan woman.  Sometimes I look at the plethora of beauties in this country and feel blessed to be among her daughters. I do, however, have one major problem with my Ugandan sisters. And that is the way they walk. I hate to generalize but Ugandan women, for the most part, walk as if they have nowhere to go.  And it drives me INSANE. I had to go downtown last week to help a friend of mine with some shopping and it turned into an exercise in sheer frustration. We had parked on Kampala Road and walked down to Luwum Street.  I have no problem walking, and this seemed like the most reasonable option anyway. The first obstacle we encountered was a woman, walking and talking on her phone at the same time.  I couldn’t pick up everything she was saying, but it sounded like she was talking to a boyfriend or ...

I performed at a beautiful wedding ceremony last weekend.  The music selected by the couple was gorgeous, as was the venue, the bride, the poems read… everything was on point.  I almost got carried away myself, until my feet started hurting, courtesy of my brand new 5 inch heels, and I was brought back to earth with a bump.  Thank goodness I didn’t have to spend the rest of the day smiling at everyone (like the beautiful bride did).  I could go home, collapse on my couch and have a glass of wine.  Oh, and take my shoes off. I bumped into an old family friend at the ceremony as I was trying to carry my equipment back to the car and flee the scene.  This elderly lady has been friends with my parents for years, and I was actually quite pleased to see her.  She asked after the family, after my work, and even mentioned that she had enjoyed reading some of my articles.  I was just about to extricate myself from her vice-like grip around my wris...

Research has shown that most people who make New Year’s Resolutions rarely keep them beyond the month of May.  I fervently endeavor to better myself each year so was quite miffed when I read this, and last year made up my mind to see my resolutions through to December.  These included: 1.        Being less sarcastic 2.        Being nicer to people with bad personal hygiene (maybe they don’t have access to soap and water.  The fact that there are deos for every budget is neither here nor there) 3.        Accepting that Monday will come around, no matter how much I bitch and moan about it 4.        Sticking to my principles of punctuality and politeness, even though almost every other person I meet on the daily is determined to flout such conventions. Anyway, as I was drawing up my list of resolutions for 2014 and berating myself for not sticking to...

Unless you’ve been living in a hole for the past couple of months , you will be well aware that our 376 MPs received their brand new iPads recently, in an effort to deal with the 30 billion being spent on stationery and courier services every year. They are scheduled to have training sessions soon, just to get them acquainted with their gadgets.  It’s no use having a shiny new tablet if you don’t know your head from your arse.  Or your apps from your tabs, in this case. There are lots of young, tech-savvy chaps out there who are quick to create apps (that’s short for ‘applications’, by the way) that can make your life so much easier if downloaded to your smart phone/ tablet.  So I’ve taken it upon myself to suggest a few that I think they should create for our MPs.  In the spirit of patriotism, of course.   Presenting:  Siima’s Top 6 Apps MPs Need To Download To Their iPads. 6) Instant Bill Generator- input the dumbest stuff that com...