Kanyindo's Random Ramblings

The past few weeks have been dominated by talk of sex tapes.  You know the ones.  Don’t act like you haven’t watched clips on your phone, or at least seen the stills in the tabloids.  There have been cries to expel the stars of the amateur blue movies, rumours of parents dying of shock, and demands for comments and immediate disciplinary action by the institutions concerned. In all this, I can’t help thinking there is one very important question that isn’t being asked. Why on earth would anyone record themselves having sex? I’ve never understood the fascination with sex tapes, to be honest.  I mean, let’s face it.  There are enough issues when it comes to getting jiggy without worrying about whether you look like a movie star or not.  Considering the fact that this is not the moment to demand a body-double, as they may be way hotter than you, in which case asking for one would be an epic fail on your part. Look at it this way.  Sex is ...

My aunt has been on my case recently. She says I need to hurry up because, and I quote, ‘’we want A Wedding.’’ Things came to a head recently, when she invited me for coffee.  I arrived late at the cafe because I got caught up at work, an excuse that infuriated her and set her off on a rant.  Before I could even order a cappuccino (if I’d known the evening I was in for, I’d have insisted we meet somewhere with vodka on the menu), I was accused of hiding myself in my work, and selfishly denying my family ‘the honour’ of a wedding. I am used to my aunt’s ranting and raving, but this time I was shocked.  To think that she sees my unmarried status as selfish beggared belief.  What really saddened me is that she didn’t seem bothered about the marriage- all she talked about was The Wedding.  I eventually left the café, irritated and disappointed. I went home and two glasses of wine later, it dawned on me that my aunt’s attitude is not entirely her fault....

My Aunt Liz had been pestering me for weeks to have lunch with her, and I finally relented last Friday.  The reason why I put off our meeting for so long is the inevitable turns our conversations take to the subject of marriage. Please understand that I love my aunt dearly.  But she has it in her mind that, at my age, I should already be married with AT LEAST three kids by now. So, we met at the restaurant and exchanged the usual pleasantries as we placed our order. “How is work, my dear?  Have you made peace with that boss of yours yet?” Relieved that she hadn’t asked about my love life, or lack thereof, I dived into this topic with gusto. “Work is great! My boss still behaves like the spawn of Satan but I do my best to stay out of her way.  I have wonderful colleagues…” “Male colleagues?” she interrupted.  My heart sank.  I could see where this was going. “Er, of course.  Some male, some female.  We make a great team…” ...